ABOUT THANKSGIVING AND HAVING CHOICES IN LIFE

It's very late and the night before Thanksgiving and I've been thinking a lot about my Mom and how much  I miss having her here at my house.  I was also thinking about yesterday evening and how I had a Bologna sandwich.  What's odd is I hate Bologna and I never eat it however, I had a sandwich with Mayo last night.  I bought the Bologna to use for a photograph I wanted to take for a post about how my Mom loved and ate Bologna sandwiches.


My Mom loved Bologna sandwiches and she would go to the corner store and get one for dinner instead of eating the meal at the group home where she lived.  Most of the time my Mom would get sandwiches to eat there since the home would often have boiled chicken and my Mom hated boiled chicken.  It makes me sad to think of how my Mom had to eat the same thing so often and really had no choice but to go to the corner store.  What is of greater sadness and is much more significant and meaningful is about how she had so little choices and options in her life.  It's about how even though she was no longer in the hospital, she still had to live like she was.  When I think of my Mom and having no choices I am reminded of how I have them in my life and how I would feel if I did not.  My Mom had no control over her circumstances.  Research has been done on stress and it found that being in situations were you have no control is what causes the most stress.  This is how my Mom lived from day to day.  So, even though I am sad and lonely for my Mom's companionship, I am happy that she no longer has to tolerate eating boiled chicken.  I am sad that she will miss eating Thanksgiving Turkey and all the other fixings.  I know she would have loved to go to Old Country Buffet and eat as much as she liked and what she liked.   At OCB she had choices and control.  She ate almost everything she could and now I realize it's because she never knew when she was going to be able to eat like that again.  So, I brace myself for tomorrow and all the hoopla around the holidays.  When I eat I will be thankful for all the joy in my life and the fact that I have choices and options in my life. I will be thankful for the simple fact that I have control over most things in my life.  I will think of my Mom and the time I shared with her and I will be thankful.


Cheers,
Loren